Cohen James – Birth Story – https://www.somethingbecoming.com

This pregnancy and delivery was definitely a different experience for me for many reasons. Obviously, being pregnant during Covid was an experience in itself. While on the positive side, not having to go anywhere or put clothes on in those last couple of months was definitely a positive! However, being pregnant during Covid was super lonely when it came to solo doctor’s appointments and not being able to celebrate and enjoy the pregnancy with family and friends. More than anything, my heart was broken for my first-time mama friends who were robbed of the experience that they should have had.

At 32 weeks, I was blessed with the opportunity to move to the California Birth Center that happened to be five minutes down the street from our house (thank God). I honestly can’t even begin to thank the ladies there for the experience I was given. Not only would I have one hundred percent had our baby in the car had I remained at my hospital, (which was 30 minutes away), but I can’t even begin to think of how different our experience would have been having to deal with Covid and all of the restrictions that hospitals had. Not to mention the time and care I received at my appointments with my midwives versus my appointments with my doctor–night and day difference. So much time was given to go over so many things beyond just the health of the baby. They truly cared about anything and everything and it showed.

Baby boy was due June 19th, however, after going 8 days late with Lukas I knew there was a chance this one would be late as well. I had been having some quick sharp “contraction” like pains for a few weeks, but more so a week or two leading up to his due date. I also had a few stronger ones that reminded me of real contractions where I had to take a minute to breathe and relax a bit. I don’t remember my body ever feeling anything close to that leading up to Lukas’ birth. I was also basically done being pregnant much earlier this time around than with Lukas. I was more uncomfortable earlier on. Kinda thankful pandemic life allowed me to live at home in my shorts and t-shirt, cause looking cute was not in the cards for me. Pretty much all clothes were uncomfortable.

June 13th I started to lose my mucus plug and by June 17th (almost 40 weeks) I was 80% effaced and 3cm dilated! It seemed as though all signs pointed to labor starting any day! …Oh, how silly of me to think the second baby would come sooner than the first!

By June 22nd we had pretty much officially decided on his name: Cohen James. It was a name Jordan had thrown out but it immediately stuck. It felt the same way as when he had suggested “Lukas”. Also, it should be mentioned that “Cohen” is more commonly a last name and happens to be the last name of one of the sweetest characters of all time on a TV show called the OC. This show also happens to be an old favorite of Jordan’s.

The original Galic meaning of Cohen is: “wild goose”, which dear God, could not be more fitting for this kid. But the Hebrew meaning is: “Priest — but the word’s origin is as unclear as the origin of the actual office. Most probably, the word for priest stems from the idea of being dedicated, and since the Biblical wisdom tradition focused solely on the understanding and ultimately the responsible mastery of creation, Biblical priests were proto-scientists — they were not religious in the modern sense of the word. The verb means to minister as a priest, which comes down to both studying creation and serving the people.” Lukas’ middle name, “John”, was after one of Jordan’s grandfathers, and “James” is also a family name — Jordan’s other grandfather’s name as well as his Uncle’s name, brother’s middle name, and nephew’s name.

June 24th: At 40+5 weeks, I was still 80% effaced and my midwife had stretched me to 4cm. I remember being worried about his positioning cause he was constantly moving so much! As the days went on I was getting more and more bummed to not be in labor. And it may sound stupid, but I was just really over washing my hair while pregnant and always trying to be “ready” every night. I was trying to remain positive and trust that he would come when he was ready, but it was definitely getting harder in those last days. To put it nicely, I was starting to lose it emotionally. It certainly wasn’t helping that literally on Cohen’s due date, Lukas had all of a sudden started to struggle with sleep big time. The lack of sleep and added stress on my end was obviously not helping. It got so bad and we got so desperate to get him to sleep that Jordan literally had to sleep on his floor (which we had never had to do before). It was insane. He would just cry for hours. We weren’t totally sure if it was teething or normal regressions, but it definitely seemed more likely that he was picking up on what was going on and knew things were changing and was just having a hard time expressing and dealing with it, as any toddler would. But it was still incredibly frustrating, to say the least.

June 27th: The last week of pregnancy was roooough for me. One of the hardest weeks of my life actually. I had been ready so many nights in a row and the waiting was really starting to get to me. Emotionally, I was past my breaking point. I would wake up each morning incredibly disappointed that I hadn’t gone into labor, and I was getting more and more concerned about the possibility of having to drink Castor Oil to jumpstart labor. I reeeeally didn’t want to have to do that.

I finally understood what other women talked about at the end of pregnancy. Last time I felt pretty great all the way till the end, but not this time. This time I understood the “end of pregnancy struggle”. I was even starting to get annoyed seeing friends who were much earlier in their pregnancies, or due the day after me, have their first babies weeks before me. I’m sure the hormones and pure exhaustion/frustration from the lack of sleep was not helping. Dealing with a toddler who all of a sudden didn’t want to sleep was hellacious and added so much stress and exhaustion on top of my already incredibly fragile state of being. It was actually terrifying to think about having to be up all night nursing a baby while also having to deal with a cranky/sleepless toddler all day long. I would put my birth playlist on at night and lay in bed and just cry and pray. And even STILL, I was beyond ready for our little man to join us!

My stomach was rock hard and I had been feeling more contractions, but nothing consistent. I pretty much just had to let go of all expectations, any special dates I had in mind, whatever ideas I had, even accepting the possibility of having to drink Castor Oil.

June 29th: The day before I went into labor, at 41+3, I had an appointment where we set up a plan for me to drink Castor Oil the next morning and she also gave me a Castor Oil massage. And I’m not talking a relaxing back massage, ya’ll. It was not pleasant in the least, but I was desperate for anything that might help get labor going and anything to avoid having to drink the devil juice! We also set up for me to have a non-stress test done later that evening to check on baby and make sure he was good in there. If anything, I was hoping it would at the very least help give me some good feels and help get some oxytocin flowin! Even though the lady doing the test was probably one of the worst techs on the planet. I was there for a “non-stress test” and the first thing she said was, “I’m gonna be honest with you. I haven’t done one of these in like 10 years so I’m just gonna do whatever the paper says.” And I was just like, “Cool, lady! Totally making me feel calm and relaxed here”. After the ultrasound, I called and talked with my Doula on the way home and she was incredibly encouraging and helped me feel a lot better about having to drink the Castor Oil.

After I got home I said goodnight to Lukas and mentally released him for the night knowing I needed to just let Jordan and my mom take care of him and then I went and took an Epsom salt bath. My goal was to try my best to fully and completely relax and let go. I just tried to get my mind in the right place, surrendered to my body, and talked to baby boy telling him I was ready if he was.

And on June 30th at 3am in the morning I woke up to something that felt like a pop. I went to the bathroom to check things out, went pee and then got back into bed. By 3:30am I was pretty sure I was experiencing early labor contractions that had started shortly after coming back from the bathroom. It felt like a tightening coming and going every few minutes and was lasting maybe 30 seconds long.

Now, get this. At 3:39am Lukas woke up crying and immediately after he woke me up, I started “peeing” myself. I quickly realized it was my water breaking and ran to the bathroom. (He literally woke up as my water was breaking! It was so weird!). More came out in the toilet and then all over the floor.

After cleaning up the bathroom floor a bit I texted my Midwives at 3:48am that I was in labor and that my water had just broken. At 3:55am I called to make sure they knew I was in labor and told her it seemed like early labor but that I hadn’t experienced my water breaking before so I wasn’t sure how fast it was gonna go from here. By 4am I knew I was DEFINITELY in labor and texted my mom to have her come over. Contractions were 30-40 seconds long and coming every 5-6min. At 4:24am my Mom got to our house and I texted Pauline, (my Midwife), that I was starting to leak more water with the last few contractions and that they were still 30 seconds long but coming consistently every 2-3 minutes. All the while, through all of this, I was getting ready in between contractions doing my hair and makeup and going over my bag list to make sure we had everything. But also having to stop every 2-3 minutes to either rock on all fours or stand up against the wall while trying to hold my belly up. All fours was working in the beginning but I ended up doing more on the wall, even though it didn’t seem to be helping nearly as much this time as it did with Lukas. I was mostly just focusing on breathing this time.

At 5am I texted Jenn (my photographer) that she should head to the birth center cause I had just felt my body do its first small involuntary push and I knew exactly what that meant! She said she was already on her way at that point (smart lady knew better than me). I also texted Pauline that we were gonna head over to the birth center soon because my body was starting to push on its own. I told her that the contractions were still 30-40seconds long but were coming pretty fast at every 2min and that I was getting more vocal with them. When I was breathing I found myself a little more vocal and mentally focused on opening up my mouth and jaw to help open my cervix up. I remember saying things like, “ahhhh”, “yessss”, “Ooooppennn”.

At 5:07am I told her we were leaving soon and I might want the tub if there was time. I felt my body pushing even harder in the car on the way there even though I was trying my hardest NOT to push. I told Jordan, “Jenn’s not gonna make it”. *Keepin it REAL-REAL here* I also felt myself poop since my body was just pushing on its own, which was not awesome but also not even a real concern in that moment, especially since I knew I had my sweet adult diaper on haha.

Pauline said we arrived at the Birth Center at 5:15am. As soon as we got there I jumped right out of the car, walked into the side door, and into the room that I had previously claimed as mine (and hoped was open for me as it had the best window light). She was standing at her computer charting things and getting things ready for me. The first thing I said to her was, “He’s gonna come SUPER fast”, as I immediately started stripping my pants and “diaper” off. I climbed up onto the bed onto my left side and that’s where I stayed. She was cleaning me up a bit and grabbed my right leg & foot and held it up for me while I began to breathe my (unbeknownst to me) giant baby out.

I asked Jordan to put on my playlist and he gave me his phone with the music so I could hear it right next to me. I remember looking down at his phone and saying 5:20am. Which was funny cause it’s literally the exact same time as I was in labor with Lukas last time. We got to the hospital at 5:30am and he was born at 5:59am. You can read his birth story here if you’d like.

I know I had a few hard contractions where I made a louder grunting noise but then I got pretty quiet as I really focused on my breathing. I remember one contraction where his head was pushing through and then just stayed there for like a solid minute and then eventually went back in. That was definitely uncomfortable and I remember feeling relieved when his head went back in. I think I did feel more of the stretching “ring of fire” this time, but honestly NOTHING compared to what I felt last time. I remember trying to reach down and feel what was going on, but all you really feel is soft swollen vagina feels haha.

They said his face was starting to come out but that his chin was kind of stuck. She was telling me to give a good push but I wasn’t feeling any sort of contraction at all so I didn’t push, I just got super quiet and focused hard on breathing him out. (Note for next time: Listen and just give a little push if your Midwife is telling you to).

At 5:26am his head was out and at 5:28am he was born! Thirteen minutes from the time we arrived at the Birth Center and about two and a half hours from the start of labor. I think I maybe gave a total of two actual pushes and 100% breathed this giant ass baby out of me!! Jordan caught him and I instinctively grabbed his phone and was videoing Jordan holding and talking to him while I just laid there relaxing for a minute.

I wouldn’t necessarily say I went very deep into “labor land” this time. There honestly wasn’t really time! Haha
They eventually handed him to me but his cord was a little short. It was around this time that Jenn walked in haha. She had been there for a little bit but I had forgotten to give her directions on how to get into the building so she had just been waiting in the lobby. Just BARELY missed it by a few minutes, but totally my fault for not having her come earlier. I just honestly didn’t think it was happening as fast as it was until it was too late haha. The contractions were so short that I was waiting for them to last longer. Apparently, that doesn’t matter haha.

We relaxed a bit and did some skin to skin and then attempted to nurse. That’s when we found out he had a tongue tie going on and also, when his chin was stuck during his delivery it caused his chin to get pushed back pretty bad. We were hoping that would relax and fix itself with time as he moved his jaw and flexed that muscle more.

She had me feel the cord as it was still pulsating which was so weird to feel but also super cool. After it finished, (around 6:20am), she had Jordan clamp and cut the cord and then he got to do some skin-on-skin time and I went and soaked in the bath for almost an hour. It actually felt really nice to just sit and relax in a warm bath and it helped me feel a bit cleaner after. Until I started releasing quite a bit of blood and then I was like, “Okay, I’m out!” haha.

Pauline also did his Newborn exam while I was in the tub. That’s when we found out this fool was as big as he looked!! I’m still shocked that my body was carrying around an almost 10 pound baby (no wonder I was done being pregnant much earlier on). But also that I pushed out 9.11lbs of baby and yet it was easier and less painful than Lukas who was 7.9lbs. The women’s body is absolutely insane.

We did a little more photos and then Jenn left. And around 7:30am they brought me breakfast.

At 9am, Heather, (the super sweet assistant), came in to give us a “tour” of the placenta. I didn’t realize that the placenta is actually attached/a part of the “bag” he was in. She also showed us how the jelly on the umbilical cord works and how it literally can’t tie itself in a knot because the jelly is so slippery. Kinda amazing.

Jordan left to run to the house to grab me a few things I had forgotten and it was around 10am when he got back and brought me a Burger King breakfast sandwich cause I was still hungry. Burger King breakfast never tasted so good.

While he was gone, Kaleem, the director at the birth center, came in and did some bodywork on Cohen trying to help him relax his arms and jaw a bit. Jenn actually came back around that time as well to take photos of Lukas meeting Cohen while our amazingly talented friend Kyle did video. (I have the best friends in the world).

Jordan and Lukas got there about 11am. We had Lukas come into the room first while Heather had Cohen close by. I wanted to give Lukas a chance to warm up a bit and I also wanted to have some special one-on-one time with him before we introduced Cohen to him. When he first walked into the room he was insanely freaked out and very concerned/unsure of what the hell was going on with two cameras on him. We eventually got him up on the bed and tried reading his big brother book to him but he needed a little extra time to relax. Eventually, he started to warm up a bit and we were able to read his book.

After a while we brought Cohen out and I can’t express how perfectly Lukas did and how well he responded to seeing him. He was the absolute sweetest thing in the world! He was super gentle with him, patting his belly, rubbing his head super-soft, giving him the softest kisses, and laying his head on him ever so gently! He even “held him” a little. It was honestly the sweetest thing I have ever witnessed and could not have gone more perfectly.
*You can scroll down to the bottom to watch the sweetest video of Lukas meeting Cohen — Thank you, Kyle. Forever grateful.*

We did photos for about an hour and at 12:30pm we were headed home! Just a mere 7hrs after arriving. We got home and Lukas was immediately showing off Cohen to Mimi (my mom). We gave Lukas quick lunch and put him down for his nap and then we all napped for quite a while, which was glor.i.ous!

Lukas wearing the same onesie at 4 months old 😂

Oh, and the same day that Cohen was born happened to be the first night in two weeks that Lukas finally slept through the night! I’m telling you, he absolutely could feel that something was up and just did not know how to process it all or express it because, how could he?! But as soon as he got to meet his brother and realized everything was okay, he finally felt okay to sleep again! Praise the good Lord!